That sh*t will never sell

On Baileys:

He sipped at the muddy-brown liquid with absolutely no enthusiasm. And then, it is said, he pronounced the immortal words “That shit will never sell!”

Excerpt from That Sh*t Will Never Sell

ON SAMBUCCA ROMANA:

“When do you blow out the flame?" a colleague asked. “When everyone in the restaurant has seen it,” was the confident reply.

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ON J&B SUB-ZERO

…and for the first and last time in my career, my introduction was accompanied by a round of applause. “How did they like it?” I asked excitedly. Ryu didn’t know me too well and looked a little sheepish until he eventually blurted out “They hated it.”

Excerpt from That Sh*t Will Never Sell

ON Baileys

“Oh no” he said, “Two policemen came in this afternoon and demolished the whole bottle between them.”

Excerpt from That Sh*t Will Never Sell

ON Baileys

“Oh-my-God. Baileys. My mother absolutely adores it. Did you hear that Jocasta? This man invented Baileys. It’s unreal. He must be terribly rich. Baileys Cream. Wow!

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ON THE FRENCH, AND FRANCE

If I said anything about ‘the French’, it was a complete turnoff. Americans regarded them as the rudest people on earth. But say that something was ‘from France’ and that made all the difference. That meant it had real class, was the best.

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ON BAILEYS AND ‘MAX THE HAT’

I could almost smell Max’s impatience. I grabbed a pencil from his desk and unceremoniously penetrated the opening in the bottle. Out came Baileys in random globs, some into the glass, some onto Max’s desk.

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ON MIXABLE BAILEYS

The mixable Baileys product was a disaster. Cream and fizzy lemonade were uncomfortable bedfellows and the result of the mixture was an almost chewable dirty substance which some malicious barmen dubbed ‘Gorilla Snot’.

Excerpt from That Sh*t Will Never Sell

ON AQUA LIBRA

…..none other than Princess Diana, ‘The People’s Princess’ selected Aqua Libra alongside champagne as favourite drinks in a CV feature in You Magazine in the Mail on Sunday.

Excerpt from That Sh*t Will Never Sell